Post10: My fluffy white Cloud

You can feel it in your bones and the only thing you can do is smile.
Sometimes it makes you act crazy and do un-expecting things but at the end of the day you still have that stupid smile on your face . It's like your floating and nothing can bring you down. I miss this feeling. I miss me. It feels like yesterday when I was floating. But in reality it's been at least 3 years. I miss living care free . It seems like the more I try to get back there to that place to me the farther out of my reach it gets. I feel like all of my efforts are sabotaged by a rope pulling me back in the opposite direction. All I want is to float again, preferably on a fluffy white cloud where I can never fall again.

Post 9: The ticking time bomb i call Myself

Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock. I here in the distance but theres nothing in sight. Its dark as night and i can't seem to find my way back home. Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock. what is that noise? i don't own a clock.Tick.Tock. STOP this is driving me nuts! I just want to go back. Go back to when everything was easy, when all of my problems and fears could just vanish in a quick second. when no one tried to change who I was. I want to go back to before, when life was a train and i was the conductor, when i was afraid of nothing and felt invincible! I want to go back to me, to when i was happy and didn't care what people thought. I just want to go back in time to when everything was only a simple fix .Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock.

Post 8: The Calling

Sorry I haven't posted in a while I've been very ill but this is something I wrote while I was sick. I like it and I hope you enjoy too!:

I crave it. I need it. I feel I should go back . But they won't let me. "it's bad for you " they tell me " in the future you'll thank us for this" they say . What do they know. It's been almost a year and still no thanks. I've made up my mind. Besides that's when I was happiest. I enjoyed life took risks and was an over all happier person . It was perfect . I crave my dirty little secret , my mistress of drakness, my addiction ,my drug . I miss it . I crave it. I need it. It calls my name in the night . Forget them and what they say. I'm answering this call and never hanging up again...

Post 7: What do you do?

What do you do when the one you love is drifting farther and farther away and you can't do a single thing about it?
What do you do when all hope is gone and your on your knees at rock bottom?
What do you do when you've lost your inspiration to live ?
Well see, here's the thing you have two choices . You can have hope and pray to god that everything turns out ok or if you don't believe in that , you can go back to the beginning and start over ,making different choices this time. You where given life so you could live! So don't waste it dwelling on the bad when there's so much greatness surrounding you.

Post 6: Those hazel brown eyes

You know that feeling you get when your about to fall ? Not the emotion but that funny feeling in your stomach . Or maybe a better example would be when your on a huge roller coaster for the first time . 4-7g's of energy rushing through your body all at once it feel ... Amazing! That's how I feel when I see your hazel brown eyes. I look at them and I feel like 6g's of energy is rushing through my body like a roaring rapid , I feel like no matter what's happening everything will be ok, I feel happy , exhilarated, warm , and safe! But I also feel scared because I'm scared to love again , sad because I know our love is forbidden, worried that you will never know how I truly feel and even worst when I began to consider you don't feel the same way. But then you hold me tight in your arms and I look at those hazel brown eyes , and I know it will be ok.

Post 5: A new petal

It's a brand new year. A new year to learn, hurt, feel, see, experience, and for mistakes. It's a new year and theres another petal on the flower that continues to blossom called life. Treat this year like its special, make it count and don't take it for granted. Thank god that he let you stay here for another cycle around the sun. It's a new year so do something new it's finally time to get out of the past and look to the future. Don't forget it because those are the past chapters of your story just don't let it influence your decisions. It's a new year and a new you so make this year the one for you!

Post 4: Who are you?

Thinking about my Future i Came to this realization :

    "what do you want to be when you grow up?" it's a fact that everyone is asked this at least 3 times in there life. Once in elementary school then in middle school and lastly in high school. In elementary you say something like a princess or a super hero. In middle school they want a little more serious answere so you say a professional athlete or maybe a teacher.
Lastly they ask you in high school and they expect a really serious answer. That most likely grows into the question who am I ? Am I the nerdy nobody who will end up contoling NASA ? Or the jock that will have a normal life and end up a simple business man or will you end up homeless ? Who knows, but these are the years to discover yourself and find out which path best fits you . So the next time you're asked what do you want to be; you can answer "I want to be me"